Whenever I race I over think it. I am constantly doing
calculations in my head, “at this pace it will take me this long to finish” and
“I am this far from the finish which means I need to run an x minute mile to
hit my goal.” I know I should just relax and be in the moment but I rarely if
ever am. This is a total opposite to when I just run for my own fitness,
recreation and training. I like to make sure I am not dawdling but just work
within the time constraints I have. If I have an hour or two I fill it. If
running was split into two parts, training and racing I am much more about the
training and the process of that than I am the racing. I don’t race often and
probably for that very reason.
So to the Cheltenham Half.
I started over thinking it when I saw the weather forecast.
It was forecast to be wet and windy. Not just wet, thunder and lightning. I
fretted and stressed deciding that while it might be wet the temperature would
be ok so I was going for a t-shirt, a gilet and cap. That made sense and was
sorted. I reconciled that if the rain eased then I could probably pack the
gilet into my flip belt. Inside the race village I bumped into someone I knew
who said that the weather had changed and there was some blue sky there now.
Panic. No sense of perspective whatsoever. I didn’t even
check for myself, and there was time. I just retrieved my bag from the bag drop
and put my gilet and cap away.
It actually turned out to be the right decision but cost
some mental energy before we had even started.
The race was due to start at 9am. The crowd made their way
out there ahead of this to warm up, do any final prep and find the right
starting chute. I joined the 1:30-1:45 start. I was hoping for sub 1:30 but
wasn’t really confident enough to join that group or to put it out there
formally. After a slight delay due to a car being on the course the race
started and we were off.
There was quite a crowd for the first part and I settled in
behind the 1:30 pacers. My initial thinking being that if I could hang with
them for a few miles I could then push on if I felt able. Being ahead of them
would guarantee a sub 1:30.
This plan lasted about 500 metres. It actually, weirdly,
felt very slow. I guess that was a combination of adrenaline and that the start
is downhill. A quick rethink and the plan changed to being; if I get ahead of
the 1:30 group I can push on - if they then catch me I know what I need to do
to get to sub 1:30. Off I went and put down a 6:38 for mile 1. I maintained
this tempo and had a pretty comfortable and uneventful race really. I went
through 10km in around 38:30 and that was when I started with the sums again. I
was trying to calculate a finish time and how much I could afford to slow down.
More mental energy.
The crowds through the town, particularly Montpellier,
Leckhampton and the Suffolks were great.
I had a lot of shout-outs as I had found myself running alone. I was behind a
group of around 50 or so that were leading and the rest of the field were
behind me. The strong start I was having being not quite enough to get me to
the front but quick enough to keep me from the masses. It was great to see
friendly faces out there and particularly those from the Bath Road Beers run
club massive!
This was the first race I have done as part of a run club and
it was really good fun doing so. It was good to head to the course with the
group and then meet with others once there. At the finish there were volunteers
from the club handing out medals, water and even a hug!
Back to the race; it was around mile 10 that I started to
struggle a bit, the course loops up and down and crosses the roads around
Pittville Park. This was quite demoralising as the racecourse represented the
finish and yet it was out of reach with yet another loop. It would get worse.
I hit the racecourse and really ran out of power. Mile 10
had been 7:07, mile 11 was 6:58 then 12 and 13 were 7:02 and 7:04 respectively.
While they are good mile times in context they are a drop off from where I was
at the start. I had paced totally wrong and was running out of juice. To make
it even worse as I hit the race course with some 2+ miles to go I heard the
announcer call out the winner! Brilliant!
The section around the racecourse was pretty grim. Some
short muddy intersections to exposed tarmac service roads where the wind just
blew into your face whichever way you were facing. It was only 2 miles on this
section and I was again doing maths to calculate what I’d need to do. In the
end I was glad it was over and felt like I trickled over the line. I did get a
shout out from the announcer as I did though which was cool.
My finish time was texted to me pretty much instantly;
01:27:53. Good but 38 seconds outside my PB set at Tewkesbury around 10 years
ago. Closer inspection of the Strava file revealed that my half marathon time
was actually 01:27:01 with the race coming in at 13.23miles and not the
regulation 13.1.
It is around 10 years since I last ran a half, my finishing
time then was 1:27:15. Whilst I was really happy with the time I know I can do
better if I can do it smarter. There is also that feeling of dread that comes
with a race like this. Running hard for 13.1 miles is, well, hard. I run a lot,
most days in fact, yet rarely get close to sub 7 minute-miling. That I averaged
6:38 is, to me at least, quite something. I have generally been able to turn a
pace when needed and this is not through specific training just through
strength of running. The fact that I run a lot and have some strength from that
means I can turn a pace – it’s just not something I do very often. I also have
for the past few years not done any events where I needed to run fast. Ultra’s
being about getting it done, for me, and not racing.
A lack of experience told for me in this race. I didn’t
really understand what my race pace could and would be so just ran. Knowing
what I know now I would start at around 6:40/45 pace for the first 3-3.5 miles
or so and then look to up the pace finishing stronger. On that basis I think I could
take a minute off that time as while I was spent at the end of this I was
strong for the majority of it. Better pacing would have helped that.
I also need to relax a bit (a lot); I run all the time so
not sure why I find races so stressful. Maybe because I don’t race often I always
feel like I have to do something. When I say something I mean against the
context of my own performances. I am still chasing PB’s and want to do well. I have
an uneasy relationship with being competitive. I don’t consider myself
competitive but I clearly am. I hope that this doesn’t manifest against people I
know and run with because ultimately what I want is only to do the best I can. What
goes on around me is almost irrelevant I am only racing myself in these
circumstances.
