Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Zombies on the NHS...

Thursday afternoon I had to go into hospital in preparation for my ACL operation the following morning. Part of the preparation was to fit a cannula for use in administering drugs and fluids etc.

The cannula specialist came along to the ward at about 7 o'clock. I'd just finished my dinner and was reading my book Monster Island by Dave Wellington. He was going to fit it to my left hand on the basis that I am right handed. Now although diabetic and therefore used to needles I am not very good with the medical variety, that is anything bigger that 0.5cm in length! also if it hurts when I do it, I stop, the medical profession don't (and rightly so). I gave the guy my left hand and sat back in the chair with my head back and eyes closed.

He fitted the cannula and I was ok, then he tried to test it with a wash and that was where the fun started. When he attached the syringe with saline and started to inject it the vein on my hand bulged and then burst. I looked down and saw a lump on my hand about half the size of a golf ball. That was it, as the vein burst I felt a cold sensation spread through my arm. I said to the chap that I was going and he told me to sit back. That's the last I remember until I came too.

This is where it all got weird.

I opened my eyes and the cannula guy was looking into my face asking me if I was ok. I couldn't see anything but him and he did not look familiar. I couldn't really see around him and what little I was able to make out I could not recognise. Then the weird stuff started happening...I looked at his face and what I saw was like a twitter feed on fast forward faces and text scrolling upwards rapidly. I couldn't make out what they said or who they were. the faces then started to stick in my mind and where zombie faces.

All sorts of faces with grey/green skin, wispy hair, sunken and missing eyes and missing features (noses etc). So I am looking at this guy, I don't know where I am or what's going on and I can see zombies in front of my face. I'm not sure how long that went on for- in reality it was probably barely a minute but felt like a lot longer.

I started twitching. I then said "I can't stop twitching" to which I then heard him say to a nurse that had been summoned "he's not epileptic is he?". No I'm not but I couldn't get the words out. The nurse came over and brought me some oxygen and calmed me down a little.

I still needed a cannula that he then fitted to my arm inside my left elbow. I was then helped onto the bed so I could relax and get myself under some control again. It took about an hour for me to feel like me again.

The weirdest feeling was the disorientation I felt when I came to and the fact that all I could see was zombies. I guess the tricks your mind can play on you are pretty special! I'd been reading about zombies right before it happened and been playing on twitter too. Put those together and the results were quite trippy.
Weirdly I never felt scared or frightened, just confused.