Ego, pride and humility

I saw a video the other day. There was a young American basketball player who was asked how he keeps his feet on the ground with the success he has had. His answer was, and I am paraphrasing, that if he looks back at what he’s done that’s his ego. If he dwells on that then he’ll fall going forward as he’s focussed on his ego. If he looks forward that his pride. However, if he stays focussed on the moment and in the present that’s humility. What a great answer!

It got me to thinking a lot about how I have approached my own racing and to be honest my focus has been on pride and in all cases to my detriment. I have described it previously as ‘believing my own hype’ and then realising that it was just that, hype.

The clearest time this happened was at the Cheltenham Challenge Ultra race a few years ago. This was three laps of 13.1 miles starting at Cheltenham Racecourse and heading up and over Cleeve Hill before coming back round. It’s a tough but beautiful course; a mix of tarmac, trail, hill, open scrub and woodland. There’s a moment as you head in through Prestbury where the view is across a field to St Marys Church the view has no modern distractions and must be unchanged since the 13th century when it was built.

With a race like this I always think that the first lap is a freebie – that’s not to say it’s not hard but anyone tackling an ultra knows that they can run a half marathon (all things being equal). The second lap of this race is where it gets tough, it’s a steep climb to the top of Cleeve Hill and if you know it the radio masts. There was an aid station at the masts, and I had stopped to top up water and grab something to eat. As I approached the people on the aid station said I was doing really well and was in 4th not far behind the 3rd place. This, on reflection, was the worst thing I could have heard. Rather than keep going as I was, I increased my effort and got excited about podiums and the like. This was not even halfway into an ultra-distance race.

You can probably guess what happened.. I put more effort in to try and reel in the 3rd placed runner. I paid for that increase and started going backwards through the field. The third lap was a real struggle and while I did make it to the finish line I finished in 7th place (there were only something like 15 runners). I should have learned my lesson but I have done that subsequently too. I start to feel good in a race and rather then recognising that and acknowledging that what I am doing is making me feel good I start to think I can push.

The outcome in the Cheltenham Challenge Ultra may have been the same had I kept doing what I was but I would have not felt the same anxiety and disappointment when I was overtaken. I would have been doing my thing and content with that. It’s only pride that made me feel disappointed.

I’ve been in this situation so many times.. the Winchcombe Marathon where after about 10 miles I was in 3rd place (I don’t even know where I finished in that race!), and recently the Cheltenham Half Marathon where I was in the top 10 for a good part of the race but pushing beyond my capability too early and paid for it.

We are bombarded with well-being messages telling us to be present, to do one thing and do it well, to give that one thing our full attention. That young basket player nailed what we need to do in a short video – it’s not easy though and I can only think that’s because it’s a race and you want to do well and so start to visualise an outcome. Training the mind to not get carried away in these moments and to stay humble is the key.