I am now three weeks into my training program for the Thames Trot ultramarathon. The training program I am following is an 18 week one so I am still looking at 15 weeks and more than 700 training miles to run.
It suddenly seems quite daunting and I am having the first experience of nerves and frankly am also a little scared! The main reason for this is that 50miles suddenly seems like a hell of a long way - who was I to think that it wasn't!!! I realised this on Friday when having run 13miles I realised that that represented a quarter of the distance that I need to be fit enough to run.
Prior to my starting the training programme I was running around 20-25 miles a week with one long run of around 12-14miles. There was no pressure because there was no goal. I was running because I liked it, it was keeping me fit and I was able to. Now the emphasis has changed and I am running because I have to. I still love it and feel good when I am out on the road but the mental aspect is completely different.
I am now running prescribed distances on prescribed days, taking rest days even if I don't want to; it feels more like work than fun. This is ridiculous really as I am still doing what I love just that whereas before when on a run I may have gone out to run 4miles and ended up running 6 I now have to have a planned route to achieve the mileage that I need to in order to meet the programme. Rather than running where I want and for how long I want I am now slave to my Garmin.
Another factor is that as the distances increase I am running laps – I have lived in my house for more than 8 years and so know all of the loops very well having run them literally hundreds of times. As my distances increase I am using laps so that in the event of getting into difficulty I am no more then 2-3miles from home as opposed to being 10miles away. The familiarity of the laps does make me think sometimes why do I need to run it when I've run this a hundred times before? Psychologically it is different, rather than just working to be generally fit the focus and workload is taking a toll.
I have also done some research into the Thames Trot and seen that there is an element of navigation required. This is another cause for concern as I am rubbish at map reading and have a limited sense of direction!! My brain just does not seem to work in that way!! This is another blow to my confidence.
So I am starting to talk myself out of it a bit. Some friends have entered the Mayhill Massacre which I did last year and was a great event. It is the day after the Thames Trot so off my radar currently, also there is the Gloucester Marathon at the end of January that I am starting to consider as a more realistic target. I could do both of these instead right?
I do still want to do the ultramarathon though and so this is a crisis of confidence. Which must be natural for a daunting event? A bit like entering an Ironman triathlon or even stepping up to do your first 5km race. It's the unknown.
On the positive side I can feel myself getting much stronger as a runner. I am running consistently faster despite the increasing distances. In the three weeks so far I have run more than planned and each week improved on my avg. time per mile. This Saturday just gone I ran two laps of a 7km route I have with a 1second difference and both of them under 30minutes. This is a run that I previously, on an easy pace, would look to complete in around 31minutes.
| Plan Miles | Actual Miles | Time | Avg. time per mile | |
| 20 | 24.4 | 02:55:33 | 00:07:12 | |
| 24 | 26.7 | 03:09:02 | 00:07:05 | |
| 28 | 29.2 | 03:25:22 | 00:07:02 |
There will come a point where the time per mile starts to increase in line with increasing distances, and I am not suggesting that I would be able to cover the 50miles at anything like the pace I am hitting in training but I am pleased with how it is going.
I hope this is just a very natural mini-confidence crisis and that once I hit some longer runs (20-25miles) I will get a boost from that. I have still not yet entered the 'race' yet and while in this mood I will not be doing so.
Plan B currently looks attractive!
